MettaPanda is Carrie L.  Or Carrie L. is MettaPanda.

Rambling seems to be an adjective that I’m making into a noun – an auspicious start for a blog!

rambling [ram-bling] –adjective

1.    aimlessly wandering.
2.    taking an irregular course; straggling: a rambling brook.
3.    spread out irregularly in various directions: a rambling mansion.
4.    straying from one subject to another; desultory: a rambling novel.

I’m 34 and living with my husband and doggie in a city north of Boston.

I have cystic fibrosis (CF) and diabetes, and I received a double-lung transplant on January 7, 2011.  I’m experiencing new life and figuring out how I want to present myself in the world.  I’m now in school – an interfaith seminary program.  I think of myself as very spiritual and grounded in my spirituality; I find my spiritual home at my Unitarian Universalist church and with my Buddhist meditation group.

It’s through my spirituality that I have been able to cope with my illness and all the trials and tribulations that go along with it.  It’s not an easy thing to do or an easy path to walk.  It’s not fun.  I don’t know that I’m a shining example of how to do it.  But I try to keep moving forward and keep a smile on my face, as much as possible.

I write a bunch – poetry and lyrics, mainly.  They don’t seem to be particularly conducive for the format of this blog, but I’ll keep working on that.   I’ve found that my writing is leaning more toward the ‘inspirational’ / ‘spiritual’ side of things than it did before – and, interestingly, it’s veering in a direction I didn’t expect.  So who knows what you’ll get here. 🙂

I want to be clear that this isn’t necessarily a blog “about” anything; not transplant or CF or meditation or even ‘how a woman with CF and diabetes who had a transplant deals with life from a spiritual perspective.’  I expect I’ll write about all of those things.  But “I am not my cough.” [I will have to do a whole post about that at some point.]   Although my life includes those things, I am more – and my life is more – than just those things.  So I reserve the write to right — hehe — about anything I want.  I’ll try to make it more profound than ‘what kind of toothpaste tastes best,’ but I make no promises.

So this is what you have stumbled upon.  Enjoy my rambling.


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